Destination Australia, at least for a season.

Jeremiah and Ethan

Rafts come in all different shapes and sizes and I am certain that there would be an indefinite number of options for materials, colours, style and design. Our RAFT has four distinct parts, three of which have been discussed and already processed through into the realm of reality and the now. The final piece of our RAFT is "Think Destination." To be totally honest this was the piece that we focussed on the least because we knew that we would be surrounded by family upon our return to Australia. My parents had opened their home to us and we were pretty sure they would feed us, at least for a while.

 

One of the skills I have learned through this process of transition is to focus on the moment. I am a logistical, planning and strategic mind, I love to think something through from beginning to end and make what seems to be impossible happen. Unfortunately, this has meant that in the past I have been so focussed on what was coming next I did not enjoy the moment I was in, to its fullest. I made a determined effort to change that mentality, to build the first three pieces of my RAFT with intent and to be in every moment taking it in and making memories. 

 

Rejoice, Serene and Jasmine

As a result, our destination thinking was limited to "who is picking us up from the airport and where are we staying for the first month?" Now that we have arrived safely and are in the "Australia season" we have begun to process this final piece of the RAFT more clearly. Making decisions around school, transport, work, church and the basics of life. After weeks of what could be described as an emotional rollercoaster that seemed to toy with my very sanity at times, working through such basic and logistical needs is almost bland. Compared to the constant stream of goodbyes, settling is so much easier on the emotions yet it certainly has its moments.

 

Couples date night at Vikings

Nothing could have prepared me for the surprising emotions that pop up unexpectedly and in random locations. Last week I found myself reduced to tears standing in the grocery store trying to pick a toothpaste from such a vast selection. Then again in the pet food section my heart decided right that moment was a good time to express how much I was missing my two delightful beagles. Life can certainly seem to take delight in throwing the odd curve to your otherwise straight path, so I have learned to take a breath, to close my eyes and if possible laugh along the way. 

 

 

Who said "It is not Goodbye?"

It is a natural reaction to do all within our power to avoid that which causes us pain. When leaving a place we have called home for many years and moving countries the process of saying goodbye is painful. As a mother I can say without hesitation watching my children say goodbye to their friends and seeing their hearts sink as they realize we may not see them again on this earth is heart breaking. It would be easy to attempt to avoid this pain by trying to run away without saying goodbye but the result of this decision would be a gaping hole in the child's history and a feeling of "unfinished business." So, despite the pain it is important to say goodbye to people, places, pets and possessions.

 

 

There is no set way or rules surrounding this step in our RAFT except that it is important not to forget the "Farewells" log. Sleepovers, boat day, dinners and visits to friends houses played such important parts in our last three weeks in Davao. Time taken to equally affirm our relationship with someone and to say goodbye were crucial in the preparation to leave. For our family ensuring that our beagle dogs had a home, setting up a storage for our personal goods that could not come with us but that we may have the opportunity to ship later and taking the time to visit special places that play an important part in our family history were all important steps in the goodbye process. Remembering that people are only a part of the goodbye process, especially for children was a key in leaving whole and healthy.

There are too many people to mention here who have impacted our lives over the years of working in Davao but as with all relationships some are closer and more meaningful than others which inevitably means more pain when we separate. The last three weeks I believe I have cried more than I anticipated, laughed harder than I thought possible and enjoyed events with a new found freedom to feel the pain knowing that it makes those relationships stronger and more meaningful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it Important Enough to Say So?

 

Jasmine building her decorating her memory
baskets to give to friends.
 

Each day our RAFT is taking shape nicely we have spent the last two weeks focusing on two steps that intertwine effectively. The intentional steps to follow this tour guide's plan has been confronting and challenging but most of all very rewarding. The second piece or step in our raft is "Affirmation" and definitely one of the joys of the transition journey. It is the time taken to express the value of a relationship, the words spoken or written to encourage a gift or talent and the presents to leave a lasting impression on those we love. Affirmation is the step that allows you to scream from the roof top, this relationship is too important to me to just walk away from, you are special to me and I want to make sure you know how my heart feels.



Ethan writing a note
to go inside the memory
basket.

Walking this journey with my children has been enlightening. They are so honest and open about their feelings, if given a listening ear. Affirmation seems to come as second nature for them and certainly has been a highlight of our preparation. We have been preparing what we call "memory baskets" to give to people: handmade, decorated with love and full of yumminess. The baskets are for people who the children want to say "you are my friend and I want you to remember that fact." They have put a lot of thought into this process and the conversation around the craft table has been full of laughter, stories and memory highlights of the person they are making the basket for at that moment.

 

An important part of my personal journey was taking the time
to affirm my relationship with this amazing couple.

I am walking my own personal journey through this piece of the raft, different from my children. Inspired by their passion I too am allowing some creative juices to flow and my heart's expression to be set free in a variety of ways. I have enjoyed giving gifts, writing cards and whispering something special in the midst of a hug.

The third piece of the RAFT fits like a hand in glove to affirmation, stay tuned for more construction efforts in the midst of transition.