Reconciliation - not a public event

As a vital first step in the RAFT building process, David Pollock introduces to our world of transition and change the concept of "Reconciliation" before departure. Although familiar with the word and even the concept to certain levels, what David asks us to do is not something that has come instinctively. To intentionally set out to resolve interpersonal conflicts is like walking through a heavy wooden door without the certainty of what is waiting to greet us on the other side. That underlying fear or perhaps the knowledge that "this season is over so why bother with something I plan to leave here?" could be enough motive to completely skip this step. Don't!

 

The sun will breakthrough the dark clouds.

Through this part of my journey in transition, I have discovered this step can be very simple and also very healing. Although far from perfect, and I am certainly not saying "do as I do," I have discovered that this step does not have to be massively traumatic, nor does each reconciliation have to be a huge event with candles, tears and a dramatic argument. Although some may fall into that category, many fall into the simple misunderstanding or "think you personally are cool but don't think we work well together" criteria.

 

Over the years there are plenty of opportunities to offend, hurt others unintentionally and even walk away wondering what on earth went wrong? It is important to know that not everything can be resolved but "I did what I could." In some instances it has meant writing an email or facebook message, while others a face to face was required and sometimes a gift or a meal to "seal the deal" was needed. 

 

At first this step was overwhelming by the sheer magnitude of the years we have been here and the people we have encountered. So where do you start? For me, believe it or not, at the beginning. This has actually been a very rewarding experience (so far) as I have walked through memory lane and found so much more positive even in the midst of looking to see if there was a need for reconciliation anywhere. Try to enjoy the journey not harping on the painful and remember the next piece of the RAFT is way more fun.